Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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