The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
