Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
