Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
