This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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