I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
