Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
