It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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