Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
