I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
