Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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