Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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