Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
