Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
