So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
