i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
