he thought i was a dude.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
