her vagine was all disorganized.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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