Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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