didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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