the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
