so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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