Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize