I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
