He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
