wrigley field is MILF paradise
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Even my vagina gasped.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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