I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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