yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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