Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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