He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
