im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
