I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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