i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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