I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
