he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
