You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
