i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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