the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
