he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
