im drinking this country out of the recession.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
