I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
