Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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