I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
