Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
