my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
