you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
did i walk over a car last night?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
