I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize