Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
