Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
