He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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