so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
