And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize