remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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