ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I smell stomach acid.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
