omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
