I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
