we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize