My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
