She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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