i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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