i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
