um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
