I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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