Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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