Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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