So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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