i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
