I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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