My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
