Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize